Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Randomize
