All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
