her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
