how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
