everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
