you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
