He asked to "fluff my boner.."
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
