So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
