I just threw up on my dentist
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
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