Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
