That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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