what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
