matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
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she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
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