Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
