Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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