Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
