Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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