Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
this just has baby written all over it
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
