she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Randomize
