ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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