Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
