Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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