roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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