If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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