ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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