it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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