Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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