I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
