Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
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Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
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Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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