So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
