Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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