Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
