There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
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