he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
