I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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