Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
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Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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