The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
