true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
