fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
