Quick, to the slutcave!
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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