I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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