Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
