I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
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he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
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I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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