There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Randomize
