Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
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