I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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