He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
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