hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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