he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize