i don't plan on having that self control this summer
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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