Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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