I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Randomize
