More tranny stories later!
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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