You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize