I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
