So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
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The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
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We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
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