I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
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