He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
