soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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