went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
