is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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