We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
