It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
