***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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