Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Boobs are out for the taking
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
