I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
